I am so touched by your story about your son.

I have a son who also was once healthy and active. Fifteen years ago, following a soccer injury in his groin, he began a downward descent into a crippling pain condition which has rendered him unable to walk or speak, with an atrophied right leg and purple foot. This athletic young man shrunk to 96 pounds.

I know that your story is different from my story – for one thing, I understand your son is in a condition like a coma – but I hope that something in my story may be meaningful for you.

My son was in so much pain I couldn’t touch him. No specific diagnosis. No medical treatment other than meds to reduce pain and depression. Three years ago it looked like his ‘failure to thrive’ condition was going to kill him. It was at that time I began a theatre project with my performing partner Jonathon to try to shed light on our caregiving homes. (Jonathon cares for his mom who has Alzheimer’s.) It was through the theatre process of ‘Heal Thyself’ that I was able to make a decision. I decided that I had to let go of needing Kirk (my son) to get well. I realized that my whole relationship with him was based on his sickness and that I was actually separating myself from him in my quest to find a medical answer.

I finally decided to accept him as a whole person in his condition, and to love him just as he was. It didn’t mean that I was no longer open to finding help. It just meant that I was no longer putting his wellness as a condition for my acceptance of him. With that decision I began to talk with him about other things. I was able to bring a more peaceful energy to our time together. I slowed down so that we could develop a sparse communication system. It was a very slow shift, but it has transformed our relationship, and miracle of miracles, there has been a significant measure of healing. First of all, I have healed from a frantic, guilt laden, depressed mother into one who is relaxed and enjoying Kirk for who he is now. A small but significant example is that we discovered a ‘thumb hug’ which satisfies the need for physical touch. Kirk now communicates to me how he feels and I give the space and time for him to do that. Kirk also has gradually been able to eat more. He now weighs a whopping 120 pounds! He can sit up for more than the 5 or 6 minutes that was his maximum 3 years ago. He also has begun to open up his social network to a couple of friends who remember what he was like, and are still able to see that creative well person. They sit and chat with him and they learn together. Although he can’t hold his guitar now, he is giving guidance to a friend who is wanting to learn. He is even teaching me!

I am saying all this to encourage you to activate and free the love you have for your son so you can find new ways that make sense for you to express your love for him.

In doing this myself, I discovered a world of creativity and joy in showing my love for Kirk in these new ways. I looked at what was tearing me apart in this very difficult situation, and I knew I needed healing for myself.

I know the machines cannot measure any response from your son, but who knows the power of the heart to heal? I believe that at some hidden level, your son will feel it.

My heart goes to you as you continue to navigate through this new world you have entered with your son following the car accident. Research what you can, and try whatever is possible, then, as you can, let it go. Do not invest your life in the success of devices outside yourself. Take a good long look at your beautiful son and a good long look at yourself. How you want to experience the time you have? I’m sure your son would love to hear your laughter again.

Please forgive me if any of this sounds easy or preachy. I know how difficult this is, and your situation is more challenging than mine. But a mother’s dreams for her son do not include what either you or I have experienced. We need help. I was fortunate to be able to bring my tears and anguish to the ‘Heal Thyself’ creative team. My mindset needed a major change and I was fortunate enough to find the people who helped me do this.

Blessings to you both and any other members of your family who are trying to grow in your new life together.

Carlynn

Thank You, Ann

Q. Why can’t I just stand in the sunlight to heal my Cold Sore? Sunlight Contains UV (ultraviolet light), which actually triggers Cold Sores. The amount of 1072nm light in sunlight (even in summer) is insufficient to be effective. Q. Will any light do as long as I put it on my cold sore? No, over the last 10 years Virulite has been researching the various wavelengths (colours) of light in the visible and invisible spectrum and found some wavelengths were ineffective and some even make Cold Sores worse! Only 1072nm light proved to be effective in reducing Cold Sore healing time.

I found a newspaper article which states “[the] study will use the same wavelength of infra-red light as occurs naturally in sunlight. There is a growing body of evidence that natural sunlight might help us fight disease which flies in the face of warnings about staying out of the sun.”,

BUT from Virulite’s FAQs, I understand:

While the desirable infrared light occurs in sunlight, you can’t get enough infrared light from sunlight, and trying to get enough will overexpose you to ultraviolet light.

.

• There are opportunities for students to … join an ongoing research project. Contact: abdellab “at’ hotmail .com
• Course Helpline: +44 (0)191 515 3000
• info -at- virulite.com
• paul.chazot ‘at“ dur.ac.uk
• “human trials are set for this summer”

It may be that all those trials are in England. (Perhaps you are too, or perhaps England will be the next stop in your global search.) This may be obvious, but I suggest: Ask if they have a mailing list regarding announcements of research or service in your area.

I googled “virulite helmet study summer” but found no news beyond what was in the original press release.

On another note, I did find this pretty picture (some kind of x-ray):

I would be very interested in clinical trials. We have traveled the globe for answers. We leave no stone unturned.

Thanks for your help. Jim